Show Me
by Victoria G
Summary: Rei is has doubts, Mina tries to help
1. Show Me

            Mina watched the figure standing among the cherry blossoms in contemplative silence. She leaned against the doorway that led to the outdoor balcony, mostly hidden by the dim moonlight and the shadow of the doorframe. Her golden hair fell wavy and loose across her cheek, protecting it from the cold of the stone brinks. Playing at the pocket of her tight jeans with unaccustomed nervousness, she debated whether or not to make her presence known. The shimmering lights, the music, and the general sounds of the party would keep their conversation intimate. Inhaling deeply and smoothing her shirt, she stepped forward.

            "Rei-chan." She said softly as a greeting, taking her place beside the other woman. 

            "Mina." The dark haired woman replied unemotionally, her gaze remaining steadily forward. 

Hiding the hurt she felt at the cold reception with practiced ease, she started over just as softly. "Why aren't you inside?"

Still staring straight ahead, the Senshi answered evasively. "Why aren't you?"

Smiling at the expected answer, the blonde was ready with a reply. "You know why Rei, I can't be inside partying with the best of them when my very best friend is out here all alone."

The miko quickly responded. "Don't Mina."

"Don't what?" The other woman asked caught by surprise. 

"Waste your time out here," She answered, turning to her friend as the first traces of her emotional turmoil were betrayed by the wild look in her dark eyes.   Taking a breath, she smiled wryly. "Besides I'm sure there are tons of college boys missing you desperately at this very moment." 

Responding to the forced light atmosphere of their conversation, Mina furthered the joke. "But then I would be faced with the torture of choosing between them. I'd honestly be better off not to choose at all." She shrugged. "So I guess I'm stayin'."

Rolling her eyes at the arrogance she often wondered the truth of, Rei leaned back against a nearby Cherry tree. "Then I guess you are stuck out here."

Leaning a hand on the truck of another tree and gazing down the stone pathway they were on, Mina pressed. "You still haven't told me why you are out here."

"You know why." Rei answered with a bit of her legendary temper coloring the words. 

Sighing deeply the young soldier thought to herself _I knew, Rei, I knew, but I hoped that this time I was wrong_.  They stood silently together the wind making the only noise as it whipped over the shrine and threw their hair. Making a decision, Mina decided it was time for long overdue words. 

"Why do you do this to yourself?" She stepped in front of her friend, willingly risking the evocation of that famous temper. She waited for the denial, the fury filled retaliation, anything but the resigned reply she received. 

"I don't see how I have any choice." Mina stood stupefied.  Had her friend finally given up? Had she let this break her?

"Have no choice??" She asked. "How can you even think that?"

"Mina don't." Rei tried to hush her friend. "I'm tired of hoping, hoping gets you nowhere. It only hurts Mina. It only feeds false dreams. Things are the way they are, destiny is the only reality. I've spent my life hoping and I've nothing to show for it. I love her more than anyone in the universe. I think I loved her since before I knew her. I clung to that love and hoped that she would feel it too. For a little while I even believed she did. But things are the way they are, and they can't be changed. Not for some stupid girl's desires. She didn't love me and she never had, she loved him.  The second person I was able to let in completely, to allow myself to love. It was never meant to be.  Hoping for it is as useless as hoping that I'll find another. I will always love them and they will never love me."

Mina stood frozen in stunned, disbelieving silence as her friend watched the princess and prince joking together inside, her is his lap wishing him happy birthday yet again and looking blissfully engaged in their blossoming love affair. "Some people are meant to be happy, to find love."  She gazed into the darkness. "Some are not."   A single tear, reflecting the soft moonlight slid down her cheek. 

"No." Was the only word she found herself able to articulate.  "Rei" She whispered the name with a newfound conviction, taking the surprised woman's hands in her own. "Rei no."

Closing her eyes, the shamed and dejected woman still insisted. "It's true."

"If you can't believe me as a friend, believe me as the goddess of love." She said the last part with the smirk and slight blush that always accompanied the recitation of her title. "That isn't the way love works. Love is more powerful than anything, then destiny, if Usagi has taught us anything it is that Rei. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, kami knows I've had my share of disappointments, but you can't give up. Love only dies when you stop believing in it and hope is what feeds it." She gently wiped the arrant tear away. "You just need to open your eyes Rei, love is all around you."

Pulling her hands away, swamped by emotion, the distressed girl lost what little composure she had managed to maintain. The tears now poured from her eyes and her voice rose high above the hushed tones of earlier. "Then you show me Mina, you show me an option, you show me one place were there is love for me, because I can't see it!"

"Rei, I…" The pure grief and depth of emotion pouring from her usually collected friend startled her. 

Falling against the tree and dissolving into sobs, she spat the words through a trembling jaw. "I told you Mina, there isn't anything for me. My eyes are open. There isn't anything to see."

Gathering all the courage she could muster, Mina came once more to her friend's side. Taking a deep breath she said the words that she knew could change their friendship and lives forever, the words she had meant to say when she came out into the cherry trees. "Or maybe it's right in front of you, to close to see."

Laughing bitterly without understanding, too lost to catch the implication, Rei stared out into the night. "I don't think so."

Stepping closer, the blonde lowered her voice. "Why?"

The sobs threatened to erupt in her throat again, but she pushed them back. "I'm unlovable."

Her countenance filled with sympathy and concern.  "That's not true…"

"Mina stop trying to make me feel better." The reply was accusatory and somewhat aggressive in tone.

"I can't let you believe those thing about yourself." She stood her ground, her own anger rising. 

"EVEN IF THEY'RE TRUE???" She shouted back. 

Frustrated and scared Mina found herself yelling back as her own tears trailed down her cheeks. "THEY AREN'T!!!"

Sarcasm and despair where interwoven in her tear-laden and angry reply. "IF THEY AREN'T THEN SHOW ME MINA!!! YOU SAY THERE IS LOVE ALL AROUND ME? THEN OPEN MY…" Rei was silenced by the action of soft and demanding lips against hers. The kiss was desperate and filled with so much emotion that the raven-haired priestess found herself both humbled and paralyzed by its intensity.  As soon as it began, it ended leaving her with the taste of a faint fruity lip-gloss and the saltiness of tears.

By the time she was able to pull herself together, she was standing alone in the darkness. Awed and entirely confused, she whispered a single word in the form a question into the night. 

"Mina?"    


	2. Paralyzed

"Mina-chan!!! You're back" Usagi hopped off her place on Mamoru's lap, walking quickly over to the blonde. "We are just about to open presents!" She whispered, helping her friend slide the door shut. 

"You mean Mamo is about to open HIS presents?" Mina asked, a laughing smile hiding her emotional pain and the ache in the pit of her stomach.

Blushing a bit, the princess noticed that Mina had come in alone. "Where is Rei-chan? Is she still out there."

Glancing outside, the Senshi of Venus lied, something she had no talent for. "She doesn't feel well, she's taking a walk through the cherry trees." Usagi's light eyes gazed deeply into the darker blue of her friend's, a questioning look adorning her features. 

"Mina?" 

"C'mon! Let's go get those presents. As soon as they're open, it'll be time for the cake." Mina giggled as Usagi's small pink tongue darted across her lips in response to the mention of the favored dessert.  The young princess grabbed her friend's hand and pulled her into the crowd of people. 

From the far corner of the room, a woman watched their interactions, sipping from a glass held firmly with both hands. It was a rare occasion that she drank at all, but tonight was a special night. Not only was it Mamoru's 21st  birthday, but it was right around the time that she and the princess had first met nearly five years ago. That meeting set in motion a chain of events that altered the life of nearly everyone she knew. It was the beginning of the Senshi. 

She looked out into the darkness, touching the chilled glass of the window with delicate fingertips, turning Mina's words over in her head.  Rei was outside. She had always felt an unlikely affinity with the miko.  They both were a part of something, yet they stayed within themselves more than any of the others, except perhaps Setsuna.  Rei was lost in the world of mysticism and meditation, and she was lost in the world of science and logic. They both chose to remain on the outskirts of their group, analyzing and observing rather then immersing themselves in the emotional currents of life as their Princess did.  Maybe it was the coward's way out, after all it gave them an excuse not to interact, but it was the way they had learned to survive. She guessed it stemmed from their childhood, growing up without a father and with in Rei's case a completely absent mother and in hers a nearly absent mother.  They had learned to look at the world with an adult's level of logic and cynicism far before it was healthy. It wasn't as though they didn't feel, on the contrary they felt and loved as deeply as all the others.  However the childhood cynicism had developed into a fatalistic outlook on life, which paralyzed them both with fear.  Rei hid hers behind the volatile temper that was inherent to her character and the practiced, controlled exterior her miko training bred. She hid hers behind shyness and a mountain of schoolwork.     

"Hey there Ami-chan." She startled slightly at the sudden appearance of the other girl.

"Hi Mako-chan." She answered softly.  The blue-haired girl shuffled out of the kitchen doorway when she saw the large cake held in the other girl's grip. "I'm sorry to be in your way." 

Giving her a strange look, the brunette answered sincerely.  "You're never in the way Ami-chan." The girl in question blushed madly at the hint of a compliment, making her consider that perhaps the shyness was not just a disguise, but like Rei's temper a congenital condition of her personality.   "Besides, I'm not bringing it out yet, I just wanted to ask your opinion." 

Looking at what could only be described as a confectionary masterpiece, the young pre-med smiled. "It's beautiful Mako, it's almost a shame to eat it." 

Laughing softly, the taller girl looked down at it. "You don't think it's too girly with all the flowers?" 

Acquiring the speculative look that she was famous for, Ami studied the cake. "Iie."  She refrained from asking how one would make a cake look masculine. It seemed to her that desserts were naturally feminine, all soft, smooth textures and decadence. Delicious chocolates that melted in your mouth coating it completely and providing feelings of bliss nearly unparalleled, sweet red berries with their juicy interiors at the peek of ripeness, spongy cakes so soft and moist that they felt like velvet inside your mouth, and light creams which cried out to be fully savored by a slow flick of the tongue. Yes, she had a secret weakness for desserts and a dessert that emphasized strength and power would in her view be no dessert at all. She couldn't even envision it. Acting with unusual boldness she stole away a fingertip's worth of rich frosting and sampled the sweet treat. "It's perfect."

"No Ami-chan, it was prefect." Her friend answered, staring at the small dip in the frosted left side. Laughing lightly, Makoto pulled the cake back into the kitchen both to repair the tiny bit of damage and put the candles on top.  Feeling somewhat guilty the blue-haired girl followed. 

"Gomen-nasai Mako-chan let me help." She opened the box of candles and began counting, while her friend patched the cake. 

"Don't worry about it Ami, I had to sneak a couple little tastes myself." The brunette answered with a lop-sided grin. They prepared the cake, sharing secret smiles every time Usagi's screeches of outrage or pleasure sounded from the other room at the unwrapping of another gift. 

"Where's Rei-chan?" Makoto asked suddenly after the candles had been placed.

"Outside why?"

"Well I haven't heard her berate Usagi once for being so loud, so I figured she is either drunk or out of the room. I saw her earlier and she looked sober, so I'm guessing the second one. " Trying not to smile at the truth of the statement, Ami only nodded.  "What is she doing outside?? She is going to miss my cake." 

"Mina said she is taking a walk."

Closing the container that housed her homemade frosting, Makoto looked skeptically out the window. "Taking a walk?" Ami again nodded. "In the dark?" Another nod. "By herself?" 

"That's what Mina-chan said." She answered softly, a bit of concern seeping out. 

"Just checking." The taller girl answered, taking a moment to look out the window again. "You know if you wanted to go check on her, I'm sure that when I bring the cake out a certain blonde will be too preoccupied to make an issue out of your absence and if she does I'd cover for you." She said as she lit each candle.  Then she flicked off the lights and the beginnings of a familiar tune made its way in from the other room.

Smiling genuinely, Ami immediately went for the door. "Thanks Mako-chan." She slipped outside quietly, taking a backward glace and smiling slightly as the cheers of her princess rose above all others. Pulling her light jacket the slightest bit tighter against her slim frame she stepped out onto the path following it out into the rows of cherry trees. The night air was crisp and filled with the smell of new fallen blossoms. The wind swirled softly, picking up the flowers and whisking them away into the darkness. It gave the entire situation a surrealistic feel, as if it were a dream.  She walked the stone pathway to its end but found no sign of the priestess anywhere. The blue-haired girl paused to analyze the situation. Having no sense of danger or real trouble, Ami felt more confused than anything else until the soft flicker of the sacred fire caught her eye.  Though it burned with relative consistency, the blaze was bright and strong (even from the considerable distance of the trees) as if it had just been stoked. Without hesitation, the young genius made her way to the back of the shrine.

As she passed the threshold she saw the raven-haired priestess in a typical meditative position.  Ami had always been the most intrigued by the meditation.  The positions themselves were something of a medical curiosity.  They seemed, without exception, to be uncomfortable at best and to stay in them for extended periods of time would undoubtedly be painful.  Walking up to the fire she made a gesture to show her respect.  Turning slightly to the side, she looked at Rei.  Her eyes were open and fixed solidly on the flickering dance of the flames which seemed almost to gaze back reflected in her dark eyes. An expression of deep and undivided concentration colored her face. 

Ami thought the better of disturbing the miko in such a state, not wanting to be a nuisance. She was safe and that was what the blue-haired girl had come to verify.  Coming to a decision, she turned to leave when something again grabbed her attention. For a split second she saw a familiar figure in the flames. Feeling very much like that she was intruding, she swiftly left the room and headed back toward the house.  

"No no, we'll stay and help clean up!!!" The princess insisted, volunteering herself and her fiancé.  As she spoke, she waved to Mamoru's friends as they filtered out the back exit after offering congratulatory sentiments to the birthday boy standing dutifully by the shoji screen. 

"Iie, Usagi! Go!!" Makoto answered, shooing the blonde girl off in the direction of the retreating college students. 

            Frowning with the beginnings of hurt, she insisted. "But I want to help…"

            Stepping up to her friend, Minako smiled at her and winked.  "It's fine Usa, I'll stay and help, you go home with your Mamo-chan and finish celebrating." 

            Blushing madly, she glanced back at the man in question before biting her lip and nodding almost mischievously. "Ok, but next time it's my turn!" Usagi ran to her fiancé, who had ushered out the last of the guests and clasped onto his arm, stepping on tiptoe to whisper a few choice words into his ear. His obvious embarrassment was evidence enough to guess at the nature of the suggestion.  As Mina watched the exchange, she felt for the first time that perhaps it was best that Rei had remained outside. They were so completely infatuated with one another, it would probably destroy what little optimism the miko had left. Taking his hand, their princess pulled her prince out the door with an awkward good bye and a shout "TELL REI-CHAN I HOPE SHE FEELS BETTER AND AMI-CHAN I SAID GOODBYE!!!".  

            Minako and Makoto shared a bittersweet smile as the sound of a car peeling off into the night blasted through the open window. They had once talked about it, how being around the happy couple both brought them immense joy at their princess's bliss and intense sorrow at their own loneliness. 

            "So what's the deal??" The tall brunette asked as she leaned under the sink to grab a trash bag. 

            The blonde turned a questioning expression toward her friend, as she piled the plates and forks toward the center of the coffee table. "With what?"

            "With Rei? Where was she all this time??" Makoto pressed, concerned. She walked over to Minako's small mountain of used dinnerware and put it into the trash bag. With the question, the Senshi leader was swamped by a torrent of emotion that she had been desperately trying to suppress. She all but fell onto the couch and let a few tears fall from her eyes, tears that much to Makoto's surprise and dismay opened a floodgate. Playing the familiar role of big sister, she took the younger girl in her arms and tried as best she could to console her. As she often did, the taller Senshi chose not to ask questions in favor of allowing the other person to maintain their privacy if they so desired. 

From the outer balcony the blue-haired genius watched the scene through a window, confusion and unwelcome jealousy stirring inside her. The part of her that she kept under tight lock and key was demanding that she go inside and find out what was going on, to tell Makoto how she felt before she lost her to someone else, that it was only a matter of time before someone as wonderful and amazing as the brown haired girl found someone who had the strength and decency to tell her they loved her, but as always she found herself unable to move forward. The handle of the door seemed almost to travel further and further away, out of her reach. A single tear fell, making no noise as it hit the sun darkened wood of the porch.  Looking at the stars she felt intense self-loathing, she was no detached observer, no analytical personality, no shy schoolgirl.  She was a coward.

Coming out of her vision the raven-haired priestess shook off the last of her daze. Staring at the fire, she mulled over the less than specific answer she had received. Sitting dejectedly on the stone floor, she released a sigh of frustration at having to admit what she already knew. There was no simple answer, no divination, no chant or vision, which could ease her restless mind and soul. She would have to do it for herself, something she questioned if she had the strength for and something she knew she was not ready for.       


	3. Two Months

* * *

"I'm…" Minako began, breaking the silence that had filled the car for the past ten minutes. 

"If you're going to apologize you can stop now." The brunette interrupted. Glancing sideways for just a moment, Makoto gave her friend a reassuring and sincere smile before turning her eyes back to the road. "That's what friends are for." She said softly, the words though a little cliché meant something to both of them. True friendship…they had both been without it for a good bit of their childhood. It wasn't until they had come together as Senshi that they had fully understood it. "Are you sure that you don't want to stay at my apartment tonight?"

Kicking at the mat that lined the passenger side floor, Minako nodded. "Yeah I'm sure, but thanks anyways." The brunette said nothing further. She was sure that the blonde had a lot to work through as she herself had. Tonight her friend had kissed Rei, her longtime semi-secret love. She had returned alone and none too discretely upset. After the party Minako had all but collapsed in her arms, nearly inconsolable. Her tearful words still repeated themselves in her head. "I kissed her."

The blonde had disclosed her feelings for the raven-haired priestess once after they had done a bit too much celebrating. Haruka had driven them home and they continued their party at her house. She too had revealed her own attraction to Ami in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. For the life of her she could not recall why they felt it was funny, which was not surprising considering nearly everything after the ride with Haruka was one big blur. It took all her strength not to confront Rei over the situation, especially since she ignored Minako when she finally rejoined them. Despite her protective tendencies, she had learned that such things should not be interfered with. It was a private matter.

Besides, she had other things to think about. Namely one blue-haired genius that seemed hell-bent on avoiding her by the end of the night… how she had left with the softest and most impersonal of goodbyes. As she pulled over at the entrance of Minako's apartment complex and put the car in park, she was again filled with confusion. What did she say? What did she do? What happened to make Ami behave like that? Shaking her head she walked her friend to the door.

Smiling a little unconvincingly, the blonde faced her friend. "Mako-chan…thanks"

Somewhat out of character, she pulled the girl into a tight embrace. "Anytime ok?"

"Hai." It was a whisper that betrayed the deep hurt she was feeling.

With one last squeeze, Makoto released the other girl. Giving her a meaningful smile, she watched Mina enter the apartment before walking back to her car. As she flipped the keys around her fingers, thoughts of a certain comrade in arms again filled her mind.

"Wait!" Confused the brunette turned around to Minako standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"What's wrong?"

Rubbing at the back of her neck, she spoke softly "Is that offer still open?"

Smiling, glad to see that her friend wasn't going internalize, Makoto walked up to the top step and into the apartment complex. "Let's go pack up some stuff."

* * *

Ami sat on her bed, like a castle guarded by walls of fearsomely large textbooks. Not a single one of them had been able to keep her attention for more than a few minutes. It seemed that everything, even "The Complete Encyclopedia of Geriatric Care" which she had a grabbed in a desperate attempt at distraction, reminded her of a certain brunette. Those thoughts led to thoughts of that very same brunette with a beautiful blonde in her arms, cradling and soothing her as if she would never let anything in the world harm her. And it was those thoughts that led to the most unwelcome, thoughts of seduction, of breaking up a budding relationship for the fulfillment of her own selfish desires.

She sighed unused to such emotional turmoil. How was it logical to expect Makoto to wait for something she did know even existed? Part of her wanted to argue that it was perfectly logical, the same part that was trying desperately to convince her that throwing the thunder Senshi against a wall and having her wicked way with her the next time they saw each other was a perfectly fine idea. A strand of blue hair fell in front of her eyes, obscuring the left lens of her glasses. She removed them, and begrudgingly acknowledged that any studying would be impossible tonight.

As she placed them on her bedside table, a picture caught her eye. The photo showed all of her friends. Minako was smiling madly at the camera making two pointed horns with her forefingers, and placing them at the perfect angle behind Rei's head, while the miko was distracted by rolling her eyes at Usagi's utterly ridiculous facial expression. Makoto meanwhile had slung her arm around the blue-haired girl and was winking at the camera, with the smallest of raspberries peaking out from between her lips. She herself, seemed to be giving an admonishing look toward Minako, but there was a clear blush coloring her cheeks. With a small grin she admitted it was a fair representation. Stacking the books neatly on the ground beside her bed she laid down, still thinking.

The night's information swirled around in her head restlessly. Minako and Makoto were together. For only the second time in her life, she had real and true competition. Ami found herself, just as she had with Mercurius, being driven insane by this fact. Such reactions went against quite a bit of what she believed herself to be. Ami Mizuno was not competitive, she was not a plotter, and she was most of all not a fighter. Yet the evidence seemed to say she was all of these things. After all, is it not a competitive spirit that strives to be the best… that can't handle being second to anyone, not even a friend? Is it not a plotting mind that devises strategies for the team? And isn't it a given that all the sailor senshi were fighters? Didn't they have to be?

What did all that mean anyway? Even if she conceded to being those things, would she fight for Makoto? Could she really try to win the other girl over not sparing Minako's feelings? Could she live with herself if she did? Breathing deeply she heard that voice that she had been trying to ignore ask a question. Could you live with yourself if you never even tried?

Sitting cross legged in a loose fitting pair of a pajama bottoms and a tank top, munching on a decidedly delicious fresh chocolate chip cookie and sipping a tall glass of ice-cold milk, Minako had to admit that she felt a bit better.

"It's weird isn't it?" Her usually quiet companion asked.

"Mwhaf?" The blonde asked around a mouthful.

Around a smirk that came with the crumbs pouring from the corners of her friend's mouth, Makoto continued. "That we have a millennium's worth of people to choose from…"

Nodding, the senshi of love spoke having swallowed the last of her treat. "Tell me about." There was more than a hint of sadness in her voice.

As the brunette took a seat on the arm of the sofa that her friend was currently occupying, she gave a bittersweet smile. "Ami's avoiding me."

"Why?" Mina's eyebrows knit in confusion. She hadn't noticed, but then again she was a little distracted tonight.

Slipping from the arm to the cushion of the couch, the brunette grabbed a still warm cookie. "I have no idea." Taking a thoughtful bite, she considered the situation one more time. "She's a bit hard to read."

"Hai, she is." Minako agreed. Of all her friends, Ami was the most difficult to read. The blue-haired girl deliberately hid her emotions, not in the same way Rei did though. Rei… she couldn't stop thinking about her, about the kiss, about the feeling of those soft lips on hers, the way she looked afterward. It all played over and over in her mind bombarding her from every sensory angle.

Makoto noticed the distance in the blonde's eyes and easily guessed what it was that captured her thoughts. "Want to talk about it?" She offered.

There wasn't the over-eagerness that caused her to pull away with some people, just a concerned readiness to listen and Minako appreciated that beyond words. It was good to have someone who was more interested in her comfort than knowing what had happened. Did she want to talk about? What was there to say anyhow?

"She doesn't feel that way about me." That much was evident. The blonde had known that before she kissed Rei. With the depth of love the miko so obviously felt for her princess and prince, she was positive there was no room for anyone else. Besides, if they were any measure of Rei's standards then the senshi of Love was quite sure she didn't even have a chance.

With a frown, Makoto kept her gaze forward rather than on her friend. "She said that?" The protectiveness and defensiveness that had often been a source trouble for the brunette were bubbling to the surface. All the tall woman could think was that the priestess better have let Minako down gently.

"I knew before I kissed her." The blonde responded softly. Makoto considered whether or not to pursue this line of questioning. Confused she said nothing, merely nodded and chewed gently at her bottom lip. Sighing, Minako spoke more to herself than the other girl. "She needed to know someone loved her, she was saying these awful things about herself, she was so upset…"

"I guess seeing them together would be pretty hard for her." Turning to Makoto, an unspoken question was loud in her eyes. "Yeah, I figured it out. Ames knows too, I think we all do except of course Usa. I wouldn't be surprised if Mamoru knows. He avoids Rei as often as he can pull off, while still being polite."

"I'll admit you're a lot more observant than I gave you credit for." Minako commented, impressed.

Smirking, the brunette turned a friendly gaze on the shorter girl. "Just 'cause I have my mouth closed, doesn't mean my eyes aren't open." Reaching for a second cookie, she continued. "Besides, everyone knows that when someone teases you all the time, it's because they like you."

"I guess."

Makoto shrugged, before continuing. "So that's it?"

Reaching for another cookie, the blonde glanced at her friend. "What's it?"

"You're just gonna pretend it didn't happen?" Makoto asked, giving no indication as to whether or not she approved.

Watching as her friend's mouth opened and closed a few times, she wondered if perhaps she had gone too far. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Not sure there is anything to do."

Minako stared for a moment at her friend, turning something over in her mind.

Makoto gazed steadily at the blonde, worrying the corner of her lip. "Are you feeling alright?"

Shaking her head, Minako slumped into the couch. "I don't know what I feel."

Smirking somewhat hesitantly, her friend patted her shoulder comfortingly. "Over-tiredness will do that to you."

With a bit of stubborn reluctance, the senshi of love agreed that perhaps it was time to put the issue and herself to rest, at least for the night.

* * *

The orange, extreme light of a sunset has a pleasant and peaceful way of lifting the dim blanket of muted color early morning hours weave. Rei always found it somewhat therapeutic to take one in when her spirit refused to rest, a tradition that began before she could form memories. Her mother and grandfather used to bring her out in the grove of cherry trees to see them, even as an infant. It was irrelevant whether she was awake to view them, the feeling and mood they created were what really connected with the spirit anyway. The actual memories did not stick till she was almost four but…those were so… tainted. They were scattered with pain, her father's ridicule of the practice, his refusal to come, the strain between him and her mother and how the negativity between them somehow sucked the magic from her mother's eyes. They did not have the idealized purity or the truth of experience that the imaginings of her first sunsets allowed. And so, it was these that she tried desperately to cling to as she knelt on the cool grass, eyes closed, each breath flowing from her with the wind.

The color of a new day was so much like the scared fire, it seemed alive if only because of its intensity. As the dawn had so many times before, it danced away the darkness of night creating in her a warmth…a tickle of heat that was wholly relaxing. Her thoughts however, rebelling against her body, refused to settle. They were drawn to the figures she had seen in the fire the night before. The image of Usagi standing in the flames, her eyes fixed on some distant unknown object a smile on her face, but never on Rei herself and behind the blonde two others. It was this duo that most confused the priestess. Like statues, the muted forms of her mother and Minako stood side by side, gazes squarely on her, tension straining their features. In Minako's hand was held a ring of some precious silvery metal in which was set some sort of small, yet intensely clear crystal. Even with the mistiness of their outlines, the jewel reflected the sacred flames in exquisite detail. It hung from almost imperceptibly thin chain of what appeared to be the same metal as the ring. Her mother held a single faded photograph in her left hand. Without even seeing the picture she knew what it was, the tear in the corner gave it way.

The vision the sacred flame had shown her was like some strange dream. She remembered clearly the question she had put before the fire. It was a question she often mediated on. _Why couldn't she let go of her love for Usagi, in the face of reason, in the face of impossibility, in the face of misery, it seemed even in the face of hurting one of her dearest friends… _

"Rei-chan?" Amethyst eyes popped up, as the familiar voice tickled her ear.

"Kotono?" The miko tucked a lock of long hair behind her ear, letting her body fall out of synch with nature before turning round.

"Hai." The blonde girl answered hesitantly.

"You're up early." Rei commented with a small smile, as she dusted away the dew from her garments.

The girl only nodded, taking a seat on a nearby stone bench.

Sitting a comfortable distance away from her friend, the priestess tried not to let her thoughts wander back to her mother, a topic which strangely enough seemed to grow directly out of her encounter with Mina. She had taken enough psychology to know exactly where some would take that, but she herself was somewhat puzzled as to why this was so natural a progression in her mind. Shaking her head, as if this could physically toss all other thoughts to the side, Rei refocused her attention. "Have the little green men finally come?"

Uncharacteristically quiet, Kotono managed nothing more than a wilting smile at the comment. "Nothing so exciting." Shifting her gaze a few times from the granite of the seat to the miko's face, she thought before speaking again. "Where have you been lately?"

Raising an eyebrow, Rei said nothing for a moment. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"The girls and I don't see you around at school that much anymore, and when we do you're so quiet…" She paused tucking a lock of long blonde hair that had fallen loose from the red ribbons she always wore behind her ear. "It just doesn't seem like you."

Looking off into the distance, focusing on nothing in particular she remembered…three months after the day her mother died. Her and her grandfather were in the cherry trees, she sitting quietly staring at the clouds as they passed the midday sun and he watching, while busily raking the stones of the walkway. As clearly as if they were now occurring she still hears his footsteps approaching. Still she could recall the feeling of him sitting behind her, pulling her small body to him. And his whispered words spoken softly, in his gentle, tempered priest voice "So silent Rei-chan, it just does not seem like you" rang in her ears.

She remembered…her sixth birthday. It was why she didn't wish to celebrate it. Her mother had spent all day cooking, delicious little things, all her favorites. A party had been the last thing her father wanted, he was a good man but he worked so much. He was always so tired, so drained. Hino-san tried to be a good father, but he couldn't let go of the fact that she wasn't a boy. All his life he dreamed of having a son and for obvious reasons she could never be that. Her interest in the Shinto shine only served to further estrange them.

He had insisted on having the party at their house. Rei had spent the morning playing in the cherry trees behind the shrine, collecting flowers for the table. When her mother called, she asked if she could stay, she said the cherries were in bloom, that she loved it here, she had pressed and her mother gave in easily. It was after all the young girl's birthday. So it was decided a change of plans were in order. The food was packed, Hino-san was called and agreed with only minimal argument.

Her grandfather told her it was a big truck. The driver lost control on the rain slicked bridge near the shrine and her mother's small car didn't stand a chance. She died instantly, painless or so they said. In any case, her father never came to pick her up. The last time she had seen him face to face was at the funeral. She knew he blamed her and her grandfather… and the shrine, all of it, for her mother's death. He pretended that it was in the past, forgotten when they spoke on the phone, but the tension in his voice was enough to know better… even without her enhanced powers of perception. Rei for her part felt that there was some truth to her father's beliefs, in spite of all her grandfather had said to dissuade her.

Her experiences with Usagi were not so far removed from those with her mother. She was everything to the miko and for a short window of time it seemed that happiness was possible. Then he came, so handsome, a truly dashing prince and he had her heart too in just an instant. Again maybe, just maybe she would find what she was looking for in his arms or hers or even in her strangest late night fantasies both of their arms. Reality though or perhaps destiny it seemed had a wonderful way of bringing all good things in her life to a crashing halt and what better way then to join the two she craved most in a relationship so strong and pure that even the thought of intruding felt a sacrilege to love itself.

"I'm…" Kotono's voice broke Rei away from her thoughts as did the hand resting on her knee. "…worried about you Rei." The whispered sentiment was obviously earnest, it seemed embarrassingly so as the hand was retracted almost immediately after its utterance. "I feel like…" She had intended to say _I'm losing you_, but thought the better of it. After all, she reasoned, _you can't loose what you never had to begin with_. "Like I did when you disappeared…"

Rei remembered returning after the whole ordeal with wise man, chibi-usa, and the 30th century. She had died and was brought back to earth through Usagi's unbreakable spirit and the power of pure love. Her grandfather had been driven to tears over the situation and threw his arms around her. Kotono had a similar reaction when she saw her the next day at school. Rei had been so surprised by the entire situation that she had no other reaction except laughter, making light of the situation while comforting her friend. In truth she had been shocked to the core that someone other than her grandfather had missed her presence so intensely.

"Don't be…" The miko reassured, though she knew that if the blonde girl really understood what was going on then she would see her concern as more than justified.

"If there is anything I can do…even if you just want some one to listen…" The fakeness of private school had always annoyed the priestess. How the girls seemed to want nothing more than to bend over backwards to please her, made her uncomfortable. She had always felt different about Kotono though, something about her eyes made the miko want to trust her and Rei felt that Kotono's desire to know her came from a genuine place. Even if she could not bring herself to take the other girl up on the offer, she appreciated the gesture and the genuineness.

"Arigato." The quiet thank you brought a smile to Kotono's face.

Feeling as though there was little left to say the blonde made ready to leave. "Don't make yourself such a stranger." It was more of a request than a demand.

"I won't" Rei nodded her goodbye as the school girl made her retreat.

"THIS COMING YEAR WILL BE OUR LAST AT 'TA'... YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT STUDENTS IN THEIR LAST YEAR REI-CHAN…" She yelled from the gate, with a grin breaking through the solemnity that had thus far ruled her visit. A little light heartedness was needed.

Rei managed a chuckle. "HAI, THEY GO WILD."

"YOU HAVE TWO MONTHS, BE READY!" Winking Kotono waved goodbye and left the shrine

Giving a small smile, Rei considered Kotono's words. She had two months, two months to let go, two months to try and let someone in, two months to change her existence as it has been for the past few years, and perhaps most simple, but still most important… she had two months to let herself once again feel something that for nearly twelve years had eluded her.


	4. Memory

Minako's body twisted in her sleep as her eyes moved rapidly beneath closed lids. A soft sigh escaped her lips, tickling the sensitive skin. A dream as real as memory played like a movie in her mind.

_ Fingers worked slowly but diligently at the labyrinth of fastenings that was her ball gown. Laughter echoed in the otherwise silent chamber, as elegant hands were taken away from their task and held in her own. _

_ "Perhaps this dress wasn't the best choice." A mischievous confession. Taking those hands and draping them over her shoulders, she gently leaned forward, placing a less than chaste kiss on the lips of her companion. "I much prefer yours", she commented, sliding the silken fabric away from her lover's shoulder, planting a kiss on the exposed skin. _

_ Following the curve of a long sculpted neck with warm lips, she delighted in the goosebumps that rose as she pulled dark hair out of the way. Lavender eyes fluttered closed, a low moan tumbling forth to mix with the breathy utterance of a name. _

_As those lips came to meet the elaborately adorned lobe of an ear, Minako felt the cool metal of a ring, suspended on a necklace her lover never removed pressed against her chest… a pleasant contrast to the heat of the surrounding skin. A nibble was answered by the beginning of a smile as the name poured out once more, this time laced with none too subtle need. "Venus…"._

_ She felt herself pull away, and trace the hem of her own dress to reveal and subsequently unfasten four small buttons hidden completely by a doubling in the fabric. Her smile widened as a soft, low laugh rumbled from her partner. Mars stepped forward only half surprised to see that the dress could now be completely removed in a matter of seconds. "Then again this dress does have its benefits." She heard herself mutter. _

_ "Mmm. So I see… " _

_Minako was transfixed as hands slowly slid across her shoulders, brushing the straps aside. The feeling of the silken material sliding slowly down her body was nearly as pleasurable as the hunger in the eyes boring into her own. _

A gentle nudging caused the blonde's eyes to snap open. Her sleep clouded vision only made out a mix of brown and green.

"Minako?"

An intense dryness caused her voice to crack when her mind cleared enough to function. "Hai?" Blinking, the senshi leader tried again to make out her surroundings this time with far more success. Makoto's living room. As this thought registered, she felt a cool, damp, glass graze her finger tips.

"You ok?" The brunette asked, again pushing the glass towards her friend's hand, Makoto suggested "Maybe you should drink some of this."

Grabbing the offered liquid, Minako drank greedily. Taking a deep breath, the younger girl placed the now empty tumbler on a nearby coffee table.

"Do you always talk in your sleep?" The brunette said with a smirk and a poke, which was soon replaced with a puzzled expression that crept across her face. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Huh??" The blonde looked curiously at her friend. "I…"

The brunette shrugged, taking the now empty glass from her friend's hands as she rose from the couch. "You said something about a dress?"

"No."

Raising an eyebrow at her friend, Makoto gently insisted. "I think that's what I heard…"

"No, I mean no to the question you asked." Minako clarified. "I don't usually talk in my sleep, at least I don't think I do." Taking another deep breath, the blonde watched the specks of dust dancing in the sun beams that peaked through the large picture window in Makoto's living room.

"Oh." She responded, taking the glass to the kitchen before returning. The tall woman leaned on the entryway frame that led from the kitchen to the living room, watching her friend. "Nightmare?"

Minako's soft blue eyes turned toward the source of the question. "No. Why would you think that??"

Sitting gingerly on the sofa, the thunder senshi took a moment to think before answering. "Well you're all sweaty."

******

"Usako…" The man lightly whispered into the girl's ear. "Usako wake up."

A grumble and a shift was all the reply he received. Mamoru watched as the sleeping blonde clutched the bed sheets tightly around her body in a silent protest.

With a grin, he leaned down once more. "I made us breakfast" As soon as the words left his mouth, one eye popped open from beneath a disheveled mass of hair.

A tired voice repeated the word with interest. "Breakfast?"

Smiling with his eyes, he nodded. "Still hot."

Pushing herself up on sleepy limbs, she shooed his eyes away with the flick of her hand. He complied, amused by her unnecessary bashfulness. Grabbing his discarded shirt from the night before, she quickly made herself decent…enough. After all, breakfast was not something to keep waiting. Taking his hand, she guided him with an excited forcefulness to the kitchen counter where steaming piles of freshly cooked delights where laid out. Without delay she led her now heavy plate to the table, like a lamb to the slaughter he found himself comparing.

Taking a seat next to her, he was slowly picked at his food. It still amazed him how quickly Usagi could polish off a meal. It was cartoonish in its exaggeration, the utensil making the trip to and from her mouth with such speed as to seem invisible.

Talking around a mouth half-full, Usagi asked brightly "So how does it feel to be 21 Mamo-chan??"

Stretching backward and folding his arms behind his head, he closed his eyes as if deep in thought. "Not that different from being 20 actually." He smirked, exhaling softly through his nostrils, eyes still shut. As such, it surprised him when lithe thighs slid across his legs and a soft set of lips, slightly buttery to the taste, met his. Opening his eyes, he smiled at his girlfriend.

"How does it feel now?" She whispered.

He only smiled softly and kissed her in return. "Much better."

Hopping off his lap, with a sing-song "Good", she returned to her neglected breakfast.

The light atmosphere established by their exchange only lasted a few minutes before Mamoru returned to picking at his food, tumultuous thoughts flooding back to him. "Usa…"

"Hai?" She put down her fork as his seriousness became apparent. "What is it Mamo-chan?"

Sighing, he asked her a question that had been plaguing him for weeks now. "Are you happy?"

Smiling somewhat mischievously she gave an honest answer. "You made me breakfast. How could I not be?" Seeing his frown deepen at her answer, she cocked her head to the side as if to see him better. "Mamo?"

"Are you happy… with me?" The clarification seemed an unwelcome addition.

She was silent, brow furrowed in concentration, mind searching for any reason he could possibly have for asking her that question.

Confused by her lack of response, Mamoru took the conversation down an even narrower route. "Do you love her?" Again she was dumbstruck…

"…Wh-Who??"

The look he gave her from beneath folded hands spoke volumes. Her blue eyes as they met his gave all the answer that he could ever need.

"I think maybe you…"

"Don't." He was startled by the tone of her voice. Real sorrow from her was something he was entirely unaccustomed to.

Cautiously, he inquired "Don't what?"

"Don't ask me to choose." She said it softly.

"I'm not asking you to choose Usa. If you would be happier with her…then I'm telling you, I want you to be with her." He tried as best he could to put his concerns into words, but it still sounded child-like and unpolished to him. He supposed there was no easy way to say something like this. Over the past year, it had become apparent to him how Rei felt about his girlfriend, her best friend. The guilt weighed heavily on him, especially when he began to observe Usagi's reaction to the more overt signs of Rei's affection. There was something very real between them. Tension and sadness permeated the air when they sat too close or gazed too long or smiled too genuinely. Of course Usagi hid it much better than the other girl did. It was one of the things that drew him to her, the deepness that she was amazingly adept at concealing. To almost everyone else she seemed a carefree airhead to put bluntly, but then when they were alone and she opened herself completely he saw in her the future queen of Tokyo. The grace, the thoughtfulness, the wisdom it was all there… swirling, perfecting itself, growing stronger and preparing for the day when it would bloom, when she would bloom into neo-queen Serenity. No, he could in no way fault Rei for loving her.

Sighing, she looked at him. "We have a destiny…I want our future. " She looked deeply into his eyes, searching for him to understand. "I just wish…"

Feeling shame for having brought it up in the first place, he finished her thought. "That it wasn't tearing Rei apart?" With a deep exhale she closed her eyes, small tears squeezing from beneath their lids. Again feeling extremely guilty, he knelt beside her and kissed her forehead. "I ruined breakfast didn't I?" He asked softly, a small amount of playfulness in his tone.

Laughing a bit around her tears, she answered in turn. "That's ok Mamo-chan you can make it up to me by taking me out to lunch."

******

Having completed her chores, Rei honestly felt no closer to any sort of answer or solution to her problems. Sighing, she removed her priestess garments, their heaviness having caught up with her. She slipped on a soft pair of jeans and a t-shirt for ease. Feeling the unpleasant stickiness of sweat matting her hair to the back of her neck, she quickly reached for a pair of sticks and made short work of putting it up and out of the way. With a deep breath she allowed herself to fall backward onto her bed, reveling in its softness, its comfort, the subtle smell of her own shampoo on the pillow. Closing her eyes, she remembered sitting on this very bed with her mother, rolling, jumping, bouncing and utterly refusing to keep still in anyway.

That rich, melodious voice echoed in her mind.

_"Your grandfather gave me this bed when I was just a little girl Rei, he made it himself." She remembered rocking on her back and watching the way her mothers fingers traced the wood of the bed frame, she remembered loving the look of them, their elegance, her elegance. Rei had always wanted to be just like her, to be that beautiful. She remembered those hands making a surprise grab for her, and launching a small attack on her ticklish belly. "One day, when you are big enough, you'll get to sleep in this bed, it'll be your very own." The smile on her mother's face seemed to spread to hers, though at five her excitement arose mostly from the attention she was receiving rather than the promise of a new bed._

In her mother's arms… it was the last time she had well and truly been held, by anyone. Her father rarely even hugged her, he rarely even hugged her mother…she didn't want to think about him. Inhaling deeply through her nostrils, she closed her eyes. Usagi… her picture materialized immediately on the back of Rei's fallen eyelids. Her psychic abilities made her privy to the secrets buried deep within the young blonde. When they were first introduced she sensed the power within her and was wary. Usagi simply radiated energy to the point that were it tangible, its force would have pinned her to the ground. It was so raw at that point, devoid of form or direction, that the priestess found herself unable to come to any conclusion regarding the danger of it. Not until Sailor Moon was revealed to be the princess did its awesomeness make any sense.

And yet it was not that unfathomably strong aura that so heavily attracted her. If anything, it was the exact opposite. There was no warrior's spirit that awakened within Usagi to wield and shape that power like some mighty weapon and there was no heavy realization that the fate of the world lay in her hand. Sailor Moon, for all her power, was either blind to or completely indifferent towards it. She operated no differently than any another truly good, but less than perfect person. Her carefree attitude never seemed to give way to reservation or angst, and her playful antics never dulled into seriousness. Rei loved her not for a heart strong enough to banish even the vilest of beings, but because Usagi was everything she wanted to be. She was just a normal girl, undamaged, free, and most of all… almost inalterably happy. All the dreams, every fantasy Rei's mind had ever concocted concerning her friend was built on the hope that if she were to become involved with Usa, some of that seemingly inexhaustible supply of happiness would find its way beneath her skin and perhaps even force a true laugh or a real smile from her.

Mamoru… her love for him… love?? Was love even the right word anymore? She had always told herself so. There was something in him, in his face, in his hair, in his eyes, in his often shallow smiles that was achingly familiar. Then of course, there was his physical beauty. He was indisputably handsome, the kind of man that any girl would happily cling to, especially in public… his strong hand in hers subtly proclaiming her success to the world. He would be her normalcy, her sanity, her tower of strength, her answer to all who questioned the emptiness in her eyes, the sadness in her grace. Mamoru was supposed be her proof that the soul trapped behind the curtains of her restraint and discipline was good, untroubled… not deeply wounded, and certainly not too weak to be worthy of love.

So that was it then? She loved them for what they could give her and not for their selves? Was she that shallow? The only type of love she could feel was some sort of twisted vampiric desire to feed on the virtues of those she envied or was enraptured by? She laughed softly, scoffing at her ridiculous dramatizing. Did all that mean that she didn't really love either of them, that perhaps she convinced herself that the confusing, yet potent cocktail of jealousy and attraction was love? If that were so, then it only stood to reason that she had never been in love with anyone. Were that hypothesis then to be accepted it followed that perhaps there was a reason she had never experienced one of life's simplest and purest pleasures. Perhaps she was unworthy…

Trying not to let herself go down that road once again, she shifted her thoughts to the vision she had seen in the fire.


	5. Gifts

******

She trudged up the stairs to her small apartment. After leaving Makoto's all those terrible feelings, the hurt she felt returned in full force. Turning the key, she threw the door open and was immediately greeted with the concerned face of a white cat. Pushing the door shut and slipping off her shoes, she made no eye contact with her guardian.

"Mina?" Artemis asked stepping forward cautiously.

Tossing her purse on the table and pulling off her jean jacket, she answered with a curt "I don't want to talk about it." Guilt filled her as the small cat's ears pulled backward and he winced slightly. Sighing as she unbuttoned her shirt and untied her hair bow, she softened her tone. "I just need to be alone for a bit?"

Nodding, Artemis padded over and hopped up onto the arm of a nearby couch. "I'm going to Luna's. I waited till you came home, so you wouldn't be worried." Minako smiled a bit, both at his concern and the mention of Luna. Reaching over, she pet his head gently receiving a grateful purr before going to the far side of the room and opening the window.

He stopped on the windowsill, looking back. "Where did you stay last night?"

"Makoto's. I just didn't really feel like being alone." He hopped onto her lap, and as if he were just another house cat, rubbed against her. She scratched beneath his chin, taking pleasure in the softness of his fur on her fingertips.

"If you need me…"

"I know, I know… the communicator," He leaped back up to the window. she bid him goodbye with a wave and he answered with another nod before departing.

Running her fingers through her hair, she walked to the bathroom noticing how tense she felt. She leaned over the edge of the tub and turned on the water. Testing it until the temperature suited her, she plugged the drain. Walking out toward the kitchen, letting the bath draw itself, she draped her shirt over the back of the couch. With a freshly poured glass of wine in hand, she leaned against the counter clad in a pair of jeans and a lace bra. The red liquid reminded her of the girl who had first turned her on to it, the girl whose hair was that same rich burgundy in the burst of her Martian fire attacks. She was utterly helpless, a victim of her own memory. The kiss played over and over in her head, the feel of Rei's lips, of that body against hers, the priestess's face afterward, the surprise…it was torture and now on top of that…the dream. Finishing the drink rather quickly she placed her glass in the sink and made her way to the waiting bath.

As she felt her jeans slide smoothly down her thighs, she could not help but be reminded of that dream again. It was strange, as if it were actually happening, she had felt everything and according to Makoto, said everything that occurred within it. Shaking the visions from her head, she removed the last of her garments. Sinking deeply into the pool of warmth, she sighed contentedly. The relaxing heat even made her forget about the tub's diminutive size and how it forced her to drape her legs over the side. As the cool porcelain made contact with the sensitive backs of her knees, toes curled in response. Arms rested carelessly over the side, fingers limp while the physical stress melted away. The hurt and confusion she felt gave way to true contemplation of her situation. Part of her seemed hesitant to accept her earlier assertion that Rei could not possibly return her feelings, though all of her was in agreement that the priestess had never, at least possibly until last night, even considered entering into such a relationship with her. The thought hadn't entered her mind either, until a few years into their friendship. Minako's mind wandered to the first time she had really noticed her feelings for Rei.

_Minako__ sat at her desk studying the pictures of her and her friends that lined the vertical components of its shelves. One photograph in particular held her attention. It was a picture of the whole group, minus of course the outer senshi, it having been taken before their meeting them. They had all gone to the park on a picnic. She smiled remembering how quickly Usagi had allowed herself to fall prey to her perpetual sleepiness. A friend of Mamoru's had asked to take a picture of them, being in the park taking still-lifes of various flowers and trees for a photography course he was enrolled in. When they agreed, he climbed a nearby tree as the sun was glaring unwelcome on his camera lens. Another grin surfaced as she took in the image of herself with the most mischievous of expressions dangling a daisy dangerously close to the face of their slumbering princess. Ami in an uncharacteristically lighthearted mood was laughing at their antics. Makoto and Rei had been the only ones to look at him, the brunette smiling in a decidedly natural way while the raven-haired girl in her catholic school uniform posed with an accompanying wink. Mamoru had brought them each an unexpected copy about a week later. They all looked so much younger and for the most part freer as it was before they truly understood what it meant to be a senshi, the sacrifices they would have to make. However, there was one exception. _

_Hino Rei did not look happy, she never seemed to even when she smiled. As indisputably attractive as the priestess herself was, the appeal did not arise from the brightness of her personality and the joy she radiated like Usagi's did. It came from a different place, a place of darkness and mystery enhanced by her pure physical beauty, much like Setsuna. This was not to say that Rei was a miserable teenager, no Minako was often impressed by the skill with which the priestess kept her unhappiness hidden. At the same time though, it worried her. Despite their years as friends, Minako was painfully aware of how little she knew about the miko and as time continued to slip away on them it bothered her more and more. All she knew was a rough sketch of Rei's life. Her mother had died when she was younger, Minako didn't know how. Her father had left her, Minako didn't know why. She had become a shrine maiden, Minako didn't know when. She saw things in the sacred fire, things that told her future, Minako didn't know what. _

_She had this strange and inexplicable feeling that at some time she knew the answers to those questions, knew everything about the other girl, but somehow had forgotten. It was almost as if she physically felt the absence of this knowledge. Sighing with frustration, Minako replaced the picture and decided to give in to the sudden need to see the priestess. _

_Within twenty minutes, the blonde was able to walk the distance to the shrine though her calves seemed to burn in warning as she dubiously eyed the giant stairway that lead to the top. With a deep breath she began the climb and was proud to be only slightly winded upon reaching the stone path that wound its way to entrance of the Hikawa Jinja. _

_"Welcome!" She turned to her left to find Rei's grandfather, rake in hand, smiling at her in the very manner which drove the priestess insane. Leaning against the broom, his round face wrinkled and beaming he said "If you are here to see my granddaughter, she's in her room resting." His furry eyebrows knit as he continued. "She's usually up by 5 in the morning, I've had to do all her chores today." _

_Minako__ smiled at him with sympathy and gave a short bow of gratitude, before continuing on toward the miko's bedroom. Grandpa's voice however, stopped her once more. _

_"It's that private school. They give her too much work." He tapped the rake with his foot. "It leaves her no time for sleep." Raking at the pebbles surrounding the stepping stones, he seemed to be turning something over in his mind. "If she gets up, don't let her do homework, make her have some fun." _

_ Chuckling Minako nodded, again thanking the old man with a gesture. Quietly she made her way towards Rei's bedroom. When she reached the door, she rested her palm against it and with slow and deliberate force inched the door open. Peering into the dim light of the room, she saw the girl in question sprawled beneath a heavy comforter. _

_"Rei-chan!"__ The raven-haired priestess opened bleary eyes, their heaviness quickly causing them to close again. "Rei-chan!"_

_ This time the voice was closer and she recognized it as female, a fact that convinced her to try and open her eyes a second time. As the fog of slumber lifted and her vision cleared, she slowly pulled herself into a sitting position, propping her tired body against the headboard lest it fall over. _

_She then felt the mattress depress on her left side. "Are you ok?" The concern in the voice convinced her to wake up enough to look at the other girl. _

_ "Minako??" She asked surprised to see the blonde sitting, looking at her as though she were at death's door. _

_ "Hai." Taking in Rei's appearance she guessed that rather than resting in her room as her Grandfather had thought, the girl had never gotten up in the first place. She fought the envy that rose within her at discovering that even when she had just woken up, the miko was still breathtaking. _

_ "What are you doing here so early?" The confusion Rei felt was evident in her voice. _

_ Giving her friend a lop-sided grin, the blonde pointed to the clock on the bedside table. Minako laughed out loud at the look of pure disbelief that colored her friend's face._

_ "2:15???" Rei all but screamed, instantly ten times more alert. "How could I have overslept that much?? I never sleep past…"_

_ "5 am." Minako finished. "Your Grandfather said. That's why I came in." Again the senshi of love found herself concerned for the other girl. "Are you ok?"_

_ Worrying her bottom lip in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness, Rei ignored the question. "I must have fallen back asleep after the dream." She spoke to herself rather than Minako, momentarily forgetting the blonde's presence. _

_ Moving closer to the frazzled priestess, she continued questioning her. "Did you have a vision?"_

_ The raven-haired girl turned to look at her friend, something akin to fear showing in those dark eyes. _

_ Deciding not to push, Minako asked no further questions on the subject. Raising an eyebrow and giving a half mocking appraisal of the other girl's assets, the blonde's lopsided grin once again returned as she said "The others will be here in a half an hour. You might want to change." _

_For the first time, Rei looked down at herself and noticed that she was actually wearing very little, an unbuttoned blouse, matching white nothings of undergarments, and an utter lack of pants. _

_"Gomen nasai Mina-chan" She said with the slightest of blushes as she covered her bottom half with the royal purple bed sheets she so enjoyed. Hopping quickly out of the opposite side of the bed, she made her way to the closet and slipped on a pair of jeans, finishing by buttoning the blouse. _

_It seemed she had caught the priestess in a rare moment when her defenses were lowered. Modesty was certainly not what the blonde had expected from her raven-haired sister in arms, but then again maybe Rei's vanity was yet another disguise for unhappiness. Looking at the miko she decided that if it wasn't, at least the vanity was well founded. In any case she couldn't seem to stop envisioning the girl, sitting on the bed in next nothing as she had been a few minutes before. Her discomfort did not manifest outwardly, she too being a master of masking emotions. _

_"You came early." Rei pointed out, as she retook her seat on the bed. _

_"I wanted to see you." Minako shrugged seeing no reason to lie. _

_ The miko gave her a curious look. "Why?" _

_ Thinking on it, as she wasn't entirely sure of the answer herself, the blonde answered as honestly as she could. "I missed you." _

_Loosely combing her hair with her fingers, she replied with the first hint of her usual nonchalant tone. "How could you miss me? We see each other everyday." _

_Frowning slightly at the reemergence of her friend' defenses, Minako answered. "As senshi, not as friends, sometimes to study. The others I see at school, but we hardly ever get to hang out, just the two of us."_

_Rei__ did not argue the point, but merely gave her another one of those curious looks. In all honesty, she missed the other senshi too. It seemed to the priestess that she was slipping farther and farther away from them. Minako found herself smiling at how adorable the young woman looked when she was confused. "What?"_

_"Nothing."__ The blonde answered. _

She never had found out exactly what the miko had dreamt that night, but considering how close it was to the entire incident with the 30th century, Minako guessed that Rei had seen at least some of what was to follow.

As the remembrances of feelings that would eventually grow into love faded and real relaxation finally began to set in, the shrill ring of her cordless shocked her back to reality. Cursing, she fumbled out of the bath barely managing to keep a towel around her as she all but slide across the now wet tile toward the door.

Grasping the table for support, she picked up the phone trying her best not to sound agitated. "Hello?"

"Minako-san?" She recognized the voice on the other side almost immediately as Setsuna's, though the formality would have been tip enough.

She felt herself growing immensely uncomfortable as possible explanations for the phone call raced through her mind, all of them negative. "Hey, what's up?" Holding her towel tighter against her chest with her free hand, the senshi of love waited for the answer.

There was an uncharacteristic hesitation in her voice that increased Minako's anxiety. "I'm outside you're apartment, I was wondering if it would be possible to speak with you?"

The blonde was caught of guard by the answer. Of all the responses that Setsuna could have given, that was the furthest from expectation. Looking down at her near naked form and at the growing puddle on her wooden floor with distaste, Mina's mind scrambled for something to say. "I…um…could you give me a minute?"

She could almost hear the older woman's eyebrow rise "Am I interrupting something?"

Judging by the lack of an offer to return at a later date, whatever needed to be discussed was of some importance. "No no nothing like that, I was in the bath is all. Could you give me ten minutes??" She almost pleaded, growing agitated as a drop of water slowly slide down her spine with a most unpleasant sticky tickle.

"Of course."

Hanging up the phone, Minako released a frustrated sigh. It was not that she didn't want to see the senshi of time or didn't enjoy her company, not that she often experienced it, but tonight the girl just wanted to be left alone with her wine and her hot bath. Apparently luck was not on her side. Resignedly, she slunk off to her bedroom to make herself presentable. Throwing on her jeans from earlier (seeing no reason to dirty another pair) and a white t-shirt, she stuck her hair up loosely with two ornamental sticks on her dresser. She tried her best to ignore the strands of blonde hair that fell around her face, not caring enough to try and tighten the bun. Almost on cue, the doorbell sounded.

"Come in." She welcomed her guest with a smile, trying to be cordial. The older women looked elegant as always, dressed in the stylish yet somewhat bizarre attire so common in those who ran with the fashion crowd. "Can I get you anything?"

"Iie, Minako-san, thank you." She answered with a seriousness that did nothing to calm the blonde's frazzled nerves.

Setsuna's detachment was almost offensive to her. They had died together for the same cause, fought side by side and such formality was strange to the senshi of love. "You can call me Mina, all my friends do and you can sit down if you'd like." She said softly, motioning to the couch and chairs that sat in her small but cozy living room.

Taking a somewhat stiff seat in the armchair, the olive-skinned woman now seemed reluctant to say whatever it was that had drawn her here. Ruby red eyes watched the girl across the room as she took a casual seat on the couch, feet folded neatly.

Not being the most patient of the group, it was less than a minute before the silence got to Minako. "What did you need to talk to me about?"

Setsuna's frown became more pronounced as her eyes unfocused. "As you know I could not attend the prince's party with Michiru and Haruka out for the evening, I had to be home for Hotaru." The blonde nodded, unsure of where this conversation was headed. "I felt a ripple in the timeline last night. It was a memory that reminded me of something that is coming… I had almost forgotten"

The unsettled feeling that had been sitting in the pit of her stomach for over a day completely overtook her. So it was to be a fight for their future and this was the senshi of time coming to her as the leader of the Inners? Her thoughts immediately went to the communicator, and then the awkwardness that would be inevitable when she saw Rei again.

"I have something for you."

"Me?" The blonde watched with curiosity as the Setsuna removed a small velvet pouch from her handbag.

Those deep maroon eyes met hers, and Minako tried her best not look away. "A friend gave me this a long time ago." A lilting smile appeared on the face of the reserved senshi, just as quickly dissipating. Opening the sack, she emptied its contents into her hand. A curious look crossed Minako's face as she eyed the strangely glimmering metallic pieces. A ring with a beautiful crystal was strung on a delicate chain of the same almost iridescent silver…slightly too small for her, rested in the palm of the Senshi of Time's hand. Reaching out, with a questioning look, she waited until the older woman gave a nod before taking the jewelry from her.

******

Ami watched the clock, watched it so steadily and with such intensity that her gaze seemed to slow the movements of its ticking hands. 4:10, only 48 minutes until it happened. 4:58 on a Friday. For nearly two years this particular time was the most cherished in her week. For nearly two years, every week only seemed to build to this very moment, every week that is until this one. For nearly two years she had taken the 4:30 bus, exiting at the stop closest to where Makoto lived. Approximately 23 minutes until the bus reached that destination, four more for the walk to the front of her apartment, thirty seconds on the stairs to the second floor, and another thirty before the brunette opened the door. "4:58" A broad, beautiful smile, "Right on time." A wink. "As always". For nearly two years her and Makoto had dinner together, it was a tradition. She remembered, with some level of embarrassment, how those dinners had fed her hope. Memories of their previous Fridays played over and over in her mind, reflecting on how she could have so drastically misread.

_"Thank you." Taking the dishes from her place setting and then from the brunette's, Ami brought them to the kitchen, washed them, and dried them as she did every Friday night._

_ "For what??" Makoto turned toward the young genius, following her._

_ "Dinner. It's nice to have a home cooked meal." Trying to keep her tone neutral, to suppress the tingle of anger toward her mother she considered completely undue, Ami added "My mom and I don't often get the chance." She paused, to rethink how she had almost finished that sentence. "She's… Our schedules clash." _

_ The taller woman chose not to comment. She only placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. Taking a deep breath, the blue-haired woman turned around. "How long have we been having dinner together?"_

_ Thinking for a moment, Makoto shifted her jaw slightly to the right. It was a gesture the brunette made when thinking intensely and Ami had noticed it early in their friendship. "About two years." She laughed gently. "I suppose normal people would reserve Friday nights for dating at least once in two in years."_

_ Ignoring the pang of hurt she felt, the young doctor in training responded with a simple. "Yes, well we're hardly normal. It still leaves Saturday open, should one of us ever actually meet someone."_

_ Grabbing two glasses from a nearby cabinet, Makoto poured from a bottle of wine which had been breathing on the counter since their dinner was prepared. Handing one to her friend, she gave the girl a soft, somewhat somber smile, "Considering the guys I've met, I think that spending every Friday with you is a gift." She tapped the glass, before taking a sip. _

_ "Mako-chan…" For the hundredth time since high school, Ami found herself contemplating her situation. She had been in love with her best friend for over four years and she had grown accustomed to hiding it, in spite of the fact that with each passing year it hung heavier and heavier in her chest, like something inside her was slowly sinking, pulling her spirit with it. As she inhaled, a rush of air filled her lungs lightening the load temporarily. There were hints, small encouragements from her comrade in arms, for example her last statement. It was always those slightly off-key comments that brought to the surface all Ami's desires. She moved to the open window of the kitchen, resting her wine glass on the ledge and gazing out at the suburban nightscape, letting the coolness calm her. _

It was all so confusing. Flying patterns of mixed messages, tensions, and unspokens thickening the air between them. Beyond the nervousness, the uncertainty, and perplexity, there was an overwhelming exhaustion with the situation. She had spent each moment of their years together acting within her own realm of confront, not too much, no real risk, testing the waters. Perhaps the only vehicle for true change, for any honest difference was to act outside herself. Do something that felt foolish, reckless, potentially hurtful. She knew, despite the sickening anxiety of that knowledge, what her decision had to be.


End file.
